How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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