I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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