i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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