I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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