WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
