He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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