im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize
