i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
