3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
