doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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