Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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