You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
