i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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