belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
