Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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