shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
