Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Found your dick twin last night
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
