Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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