When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I came so hard my ears popped.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
