do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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