LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
