Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
