you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize