I skipped work to stalk him.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
