I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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