I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
