Sponge bath it is.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
