i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
