i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
