my mouth tastes like poor choices
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
