At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
