he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize