do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
