why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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