When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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