I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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