I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
We have started to decorate penises.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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