i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
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