I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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