if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
