she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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