you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
she peed on how many people?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
