you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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