Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize