yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
