i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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