I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
