My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
