you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
