I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
