I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
