My first STD was from a foam party
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
